Quick Hate Mail to the 80s

Dear 1980s,

Shut up.

The only people that actually heart you were born in the 90s.

Dirty Dancing was not a good movie. You just remember it differently. Go back and watch it again.

And The Breakfast Club only serves as proof that teenage angst exists in every decade. It wasn't good either. It's just cool to like that movie.

Arm warmers are not cute, and leg warmers make people look chunky. If I see any more neon leopard print or side ponytails, I will chase their wearers through the streets screaming the lyrics to “Safety Dance”. Oh, you have a mohawk? How edgy you must be. Google 80s prom dresses and try not to throw up. Seriously. Oh, and gold lame has only been done right once. And flat tops? Ew. Just ew.

Maybe instead of idolizing the 80s, we should remember that, thanks to that...gross decade, we now wash our hair, use makeup that doesn't make us look like David Bowie, and wear clothes that actually fit us. Mostly because we realized that we all looked like total tard muffins. Oh, and keyboards do not have to be used in every. Single. Song.

                              Love,

                                     Lola

P.S. Unfortunately, I do realize that in a few years I will be writing another entry berating our obsession with mesh fabric and wearing way too much plaid.